Okay, I could make up some bullshit excuse as to why I'm messaging you, but I just don't have the energy any more. I spent all week since I got back from LA fighting with my self about whether to avoid you like the black plague, or try and act like nothing had changed for me. But truth be told... like you... a lot. you make me giggle, and you make my heart beat fast, and I don't honestly know what the hell is going on... I don't want to like you. You're a great person, but I just can't...... I don't know I just feel like I am really not supposed to like you. But I do. And that's something I can't help. I can't help that your smile brightens my day, or that your hug makes me feel like my heart is going to pound straight through my chest and explode. I can't help that the stories you tell, about your past, or about things you've studied, I can't help that I want to listen to every word. I wish I knew how to tell you that I admire the way you dance to any type of music you hear, because I would never be brave enough to do so. I wish I could tell you that your caring soul, your patience, and your amazingly beautiful personality shine through in everything you do, and my soul isn't the only one you've touched. I don't know how to tell my self to just bottle up my feelings and put them aside because you are my teacher, and that you're well, you're 'Ladybug'. I wish I knew you better, so I could find come reason to NOT like you. (Right now I'm banking on the fact that you're straight?) I feel like... I feel like somehow, just because I want to know you, even if that's all it is, --knowing you--, I'm already breaking a countless amount of my own rules... Ladybug, I wish I could say something to make up for the fact that you have to deal with a dumb kid like me express their "love" for you, but I can't... I'm sorry is all. I'm sorry I'll never send this. I'm sorry I'll never really tell you how I feel, but it's better this way. Here's to you Ladybug, I honestly hope you find some really bad ass guy that will make you happy cause your a really bad ass chick that deserves it.
Sincerely,
~Z
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