If I had an inch I'd give you a mile
If you were a frown I'd give you a thousand smiles
I'd give you the world if you asked
But all I want you to have is my heart

I'll write you a song if that's what you want
Then tear it all up if you don't
I'll show you my mind and give you my heart
Just promise you won't rip it apart

I want to know how you are
I want to know your heart and soul
Your voice is a work of art
I wish you could be mine to hold

I never could move on from your eyes
They'd haunt me wherever I go
Quitting isn't always so bad
When giving up on the impossible

Honestly I'd be crazy not to love you
Although the effect seems the same either way
I have dreams of spending forever with you
I wonder if you'd want to stay?

Insomnia...

I often lay awake in my bed at night. I try to sleep, but Insomnia is my dark passenger tonight, and it wont let me go. I often wonder, why insomnia bothers me so; it thrives on any kind of thinking. "Dont think" I tell myself, but I refuse to listen, because insomnia also thrives on thinking about not thinking. Maybe I enjoy my thoughts too much to let them go, maybe im afraid to leave my thoughts alone, while I venture off into a dreamland that I can not explain, to even my own thoughts. "I will return to you, dear thoughts, but for now, please let me go." And like that, the light lets me go, and I am one with the darkness.

Oh dreams, why are you so cruel? Why do you create for me and only me the most wonderful of all places, why do you let me frolic in these places for what seems like hours, Why do you let me create my own world, my own fantasy.....only to take it all away from me once I wake? Why can I not remember you, in my waking life? Why are you so far away from me, subconscious? You live inside of me, yet you hide from me constantly. Oh dreams, why must you be so cruel? Let me remember this one dream, just this one time.

The best 10 minutes of sleep I get, is the 10 minutes I get after hitting the snooze button in the morning. "Just 10 more minutes, is all I need". Its impossible to go to sleep, and even harder to get out of its grasps in the morning. I need to let you go, sleep, for the day awaits. My journey isnt yet over, sometimes it feels like it hasnt even begun, and sometimes it feels like im not even on the journey anymore. Life gives you a Zig, when all you asked for was a Zag.

Perception is such a beautiful thing. where are you right now? Is there a floor beneath you? Of course there is...look at it. What your seeing with your eyes, is probably an area of 5-6 feet, max. Move your eyes from one point of the room you are in to another. Your eyes just traveled, 12-15 feet, max. Now look up. Your perception has changed. Just minutes ago, your reality was a floor, with an area about 5 feet. Now you look up, and your eye is looking at an amount of space you can not even fathom. Look at a point in the sky, right now. Now, drag your eyes across the night sky, to another point. Your eye just traveled a distance of over a million light years, maybe even a billion, maybe even a trillion. All of that space, was perceived by your eyes. The same eyes that could only look at an area on your wall which was only 15 feet across. And now, now you see everything. Thats life for you; you can see nothing, or you can see everything. It all depends on where you look and how you look at things.

Do you ever feel lonely? I feel lonely. It grows inside of me, like a blackhole, and sometimes I feel like I will no longer be able to control it and it will take over me. And than I stop, and I breathe. I walk away from whatever I am doing. I go outside and close my eyes. I hear the leaves rustling on the branches of the trees. They whisper to me. They say "you are here. You, are here." I feel the wind, it gives me a gentle hug as it floats on by. I take a step, and feel the earth push back at me against my feet. I open my eyes, slowly, for if I open them too fast I may not be able to bare the beauty that is in front of my eyes. I am still lonely, that fact hasnt changed. But such lonliness like this is ok, because I now believe I exist.

I exist

Letter To A Young Activist During Troubled Times By Clarissa Pinkola Estés Ph.D.

Mis estimados:

Do not lose heart. We were made for these times.

I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world right now. It is true, one has to have strong cojones and ovarios to withstand much of what passes for "good" in our culture today. Abject disregard of what the soul finds most precious and irreplaceable and the corruption of principled ideals have become, in some large societal arenas, "the new normal," the grotesquerie of the week. It is hard to say which one of the current egregious matters has rocked people's worlds and beliefs more. Ours is a time of almost daily jaw-dropping astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.

…You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet ... I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is — we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement. I cannot tell you often enough that we are definitely the leaders we have been waiting for, and that we have been raised since childhood for this time precisely.

…I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able crafts in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind. I would like to take your hands for a moment and assure you that you are built well for these times. Despite your stints of doubt, your frustrations in arighting all that needs change right now, or even feeling you have lost the map entirely, you are not without resource, you are not alone. Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. In your deepest bones, you have always known this is so. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.
…We have been in training for a dark time such as this, since the day we assented to come to Earth. For many decades, worldwide, souls just like us have been felled and left for dead in so many ways over and over – brought down by naiveté, by lack of love, by suddenly realizing one deadly thing or another, by not realizing something else soon enough, by being ambushed and assaulted by various cultural and personal shocks in the extreme. We have a history of being gutted, and yet remember this especially … we have also, of necessity, perfected the knack of resurrection. Over and over again we have been the living proof that that which has been exiled, lost, or foundered – can be restored to life again. This is as true and sturdy a prognosis for the destroyed worlds around us as it was for our own once mortally wounded selves.

…Though we are not invulnerable, our risibility supports us to laugh in the face of cynics who say "fat chance," and "management before mercy," and other evidences of complete absence of soul sense. This, and our having been to Hell and back on at least one momentous occasion, makes us seasoned vessels for certain. Even if you do not feel that you are, you are. Even if your puny little ego wants to contest the enormity of your soul, that smaller self can never for long subordinate the larger Self. In matters of death and rebirth, you have surpassed the benchmarks many times. Believe the evidence of any one of your past testings and trials. Here it is: Are you still standing? The answer is, Yes! (And no adverbs like "barely" are allowed here). If you are still standing, ragged flags or no, you are able. Thus, you have passed the bar. And even raised it. You are seaworthy.
…In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. Do not make yourself ill with overwhelm. There is a tendency too to fall into being weakened by perseverating on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails.

We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn't you say you were a believer? Didn't you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn't you ask for grace? Don't you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater? You have all the resource you need to ride any wave, to surface from any trough.

…In the language of aviators and sailors, ours is to sail forward now, all balls out. Understand the paradox: If you study the physics of a waterspout, you will see that the outer vortex whirls far more quickly than the inner one. To calm the storm means to quiet the outer layer, to cause it, by whatever countervailing means, to swirl much less, to more evenly match the velocity of the inner, far less volatile core – till whatever has been lifted into such a vicious funnel falls back to Earth, lays down, is peaceable again.

One of the most important steps you can take to help calm the storm is to not allow yourself to be taken in a flurry of overwrought emotion or despair — thereby accidentally contributing to the swale and the swirl. Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.

Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts — adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take "everyone on Earth" to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.

…One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires ... causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these — to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both – are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.

…There will always be times in the midst of "success right around the corner, but as yet still unseen" when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it; I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate. The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours: They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But … that is not what great ships are built for.

…This comes with much love and prayer that you remember who you came from, and why you came to this beautiful, needful Earth,

...And once again my heart hurts. 

I will let it go for now.

I will breathe through the pain. 

I will grasp for a hand,

something to weigh me--

down to earth.

While I keep

my head held high,

as my heart says goodbye...

Jessiy H...

Damn....

This is essentially me, now.It makes me curious to wonder how I'll feel about it in a year.A lot of people might find this presumptuous.
These things I believe,
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I believe in Love, and I believe that love is only limited by mans failure to recognize it
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I believe that Mans insight and over-all potential is confined only by his imagination, as it was once considered science fiction that man would actually one day achieve flight, let alone space travel.
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I believe that, in the end, nothing last forever. And since time is relative to matter, well …even time must end. (For further reading, see General and Special Relativity)
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I believe that those who are responsible enough to wield power are not those that earn it, but those that have it thrust upon them.
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I believe that contrary , ( In a sense ) to what I just previously stated; we do make our place in this universe through our actions and choices, and to leave ones life in the hands of fate , is complete, utter idiocy. Fate needs a break sometimes too.
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I believe that our lives are not wholly and completely monitored by a divine God with immaculate powers and omniscient insight, who wastes his time watching and judging the activities and sins of mankind, and their very souls. No, I believe that a god with such power would have something much, much more interesting to do.
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I believe that the majority of Religions and theological ideas are mostly comprised of Human misinterpretations, fabrications and fantasies; but are in reality, actually quite true.

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I believe that faith gives a man a power and will that nothing else ever could.
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I believe that it is possible for any human being, through unfathomable chance, to walk through the walls surrounding you, or fall through the chair supporting you; or for those standing, the earth holding you. (See Quantum Mechanics) ((Yes, I know I’m contradicting myself again. Quite clever of me, I think. ))
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I believe in the ingenuity of humankind, but I am not ignorant enough to fail to acknowledge its stupidity.
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I believe that we will, fortunately, never achieve perfection, because then life would be terribly dull, and horribly boring.
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I believe that, regardless of my previous statement, we will always strive for self improvement. But as soon as we fix something, we’ll find that something else has managed to break.
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I believe ..Stonehenge.. was also built by Extra-Terrestrials, not cavemen; who apparently had the ability to lift 20 Ton blocks of stones 20 feet off the ground, (considering we probably couldn’t do it today), stack and place them perfectly; when they should have had no mathematical knowledge, or writing, certainly not the advanced architecture displayed at such sights.
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I believe that aestheticism is absolutely pointless with practicality. The Beauty of something lies within its practicality, not the colors that make it pretty.
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I believe that not only is it complete stupidity, but the absolute height of presumptuous ignorance to think that out of 100 billion stars in our Galaxy, and out of more than 100 billion galaxies ( possibly an infinite amount,) we are the only living creatures to inhabit this universe.
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I believe that murder is one of the cruelest acts a person could commit; as stupid as we can be, humans are beautiful creatures through our potential as beings. To destroy something with that kind of potential, to me , is the very definition of evil.
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I believe that legends never die; at least until they are forgotten.
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I believe in believing, and it’s the only way anything will ever get done

Sometimes, occasionally, often, almost always.

I feel so old. Like I’m years ahead of my time in some ways. Maybe this is the problem, the invisible entity standing in the way of my conversation with people. I can’t communicate as well as I used to be able to adapt. Sometimes it’s like there’s this whole other life, these other lives, that lurk beneath the surface of memory, that I’ve lived a whole other life and come out of it with a mind crammed with things I cannot describe, that nobody can see except me. Like I’ve already lived once before, so it’s hard to regain my footing with people I used to be able to chatter on endlessly with.

What on earth did we use to talk about? Grades? Homework? Relationships? Idle gossip? People? Philosophy?

I honestly don’t know.